Addiction...

                                                                                              Today I wanna talk about addiction. I have a 32 yr old daughter who has lost two of her children, her apartment, her car, her life....she lives with me with her youngest daughter. This has been going on for almost a year. At one point last summer i threw her out and she was on the streets for three months. i raised her kids until their father went to court and took them. They are in a good, structured environment.  The youngest has a different father who lives in Georgia.  I have learned so much about addicts in the last year.  they are cunning, manipulative, best liars in the free world . I have learned what enabling is and have done it so many times, but i am slowly drawing lines and boundaries.  She has a job got fired because money was missing.....that is a common occurrence when she is present, money just disappears mysteriously.  She has me convinced she was off the heroin and just taking suboxin to ween herself off, well dumass me was fooled and she shot up, over dosed in a parking lot, was turning blue and not breathing when the paramedics finally got there and gave her narcon. I still dont think i have allowed myself to deal with that .....it could have ended so different in a matter of minutes.  So her boyfriend, who has been in jail for being a heroin deal and has went thru and extenstive rehab program in a prison, he is getting out in the next few days and will be moving in here.....AM I FUCKING NUTS????   well yes actually i am a little nuts and this is making me crazier then i already am.  i dont want him here...I dont want her here anymore, i cant take much more of be used and taken advantage of.  i still grieve for the daughter i used to have that was so organized, a good mother and a productive member of society.....that person is gone............later...